Where do I go from here?

I am a new blogger but not a new thinker. I am overwhelmed with ideas to write from. Where does one with a  mind full of thought begin? I guess with one of my most thought upon topics. What is my purpose, what am I here for? What am I supposed to accomplish. I can't help but feel I was made for more than this and some force greater than myself is calling me and I do not have a response except one of frustration and guilt. Frustrated because I am committed to my children, to raise them and to give them everything inside of me, but how then is there time to give to anything else? Longing to be somewhere where that I might matter, somewhere I am important and needed to be doing something that will make a difference. And then I glance back at reality and everything I am looking for is staring back at me holding a blankie and sucking a binky. Guilty because I feel like  I am missing out on something great. Aren't I doing the greatest thing a woman can do? Torn between two desires that burn with passion in my heart I choose the one that didn't choose me. The one that has always come easily for me to do because I don't have the heart not to do it. I choose the life I brought into the world. I choose their life over my own. My dreams and desires must be put on the back burner simply because this is the life I have chosen to lead. No turning back now. The days of laundry changing diapers and handing out Goldfish and juice cups seems to be never ending. Once a beautiful, young, full of life, daring, adventurous girl. Now a conservative, planning, calculating, prepared mother. I like what I have become but I do miss the girl I once knew. She basically had to grow up with her children. Pregnant at 17 and again at 19 not much time to find myself before I had to devote myself to the complete responsibility of the survival of two tiny human lives. Looking back would I do it again? Yes. Though the haunting of the clock ticking in my ear reminding me everyday that the older I get the smaller the window of opportunity to be something great or do something great gets. Life is passing me by and all I will have is a worn out body and memories to keep me company. How depressing. I really wish I  looked at things differently but how?